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Ok, so it’s only 4 letters long, but we mean that it’s a word that means a lot.
So now you’ve got to ask yourself, what is love, and am I in it? Before we can say what love is, we’re going to compare it to what it isn’t.
Infatuation (In-FAT-yoo-ay-shun) is another way of saying “puppy love.” Infatuation is temporary and based on feelings. You might have heard the phrase “He gave me butterflies.” That’s just another way of saying that there is an excitement in this relationship. Things are going great, everything is new, and you can’t bear to spend any time apart.
This is all well and good, but what happens once that excitement fades? You’ve been dating for a little while, and you’re used to each other. What now? The butterflies are gone. What’s left?
Relationships that play out like this are based on infatuation. We said earlier that infatuation is based on feelings. Well, feelings can change. If the sole basis of your relationship is how happy you are right now, what happens to your relationship when you’re not as happy tomorrow?
Some other descriptors of infatuation include:
Love. So often difficult to describe, because we all think we have a grasp on it. We’ll try our best here to sort things out. Love is lasting. It’s unselfish giving. It’s the relationship where you are constantly trying to do things to make the other person happy, with no ulterior motives. It’s something that you grow into.
Some other descriptors of love are:
Hopefully by reading this you understand what true love is. So now ask yourself: Am I in love? Or is it infatuation? Or, if you’re not in a relationship, think about friends that are dating – are they really in love?
Save yourself a lot of heartache later, don’t jump in to telling someone you love them unless you’re sure you mean it. Love is a big word with a big meaning. Make sure it’s real
Here are some characteristics of a strong relationship:
Do you listen to each others ideas?
Do you treat each other as friends?
Are you proud of one another?
Do you respect each others need for time with friends and family?
Do you feel sure of each others love?
Do you have faith in each others decisions?
Do you both admit when you’re wrong?
Do you both tell the truth without fear?
Equality or Fairness:
Do you both forgive mistakes?
Do you give and take equally?
Do you both compromise?
Do you talk openly about your feelings with each other?
Are you able to work through disagreements?
Do you listen to each other without judgment?
If my relationship doesn’t have these things, should we break up?
Not in every circumstance. Maybe you just need to talk about your concerns and work toward having a healthy relationship built on trust, respect, and equality.
The stats: Dating abuse might not be something that everybody talks about, but that doesn’t mean that it’s uncommon.
=1 in 4 teen girls say they have been concerned about being physically hurt by their partner.
=1 in 4 teens who have been in a serious relationship say that a boyfriend or girlfriend has tried to prevent them from spending time with friends or family; the same number have been pressured to only spend time with their partner.
=Half of teen girls who have experienced sexual pressure report they are afraid the relationship would end if they did not give in.
=Nearly 1 in 4 girls who have been in a relationship(23%) reported going further sexually than they wanted as a result of pressure.
The above information is from Stay Teen.
Get Help Today
If you or someone you know is a victim of abuse, seek help. You are not alone and there are places you can turn to for help. Talk to your parents, a teacher, or another adult you can trust. You can also contact the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline at 1-866-331-9474 or online at www.loveisrespect.org.